Before you start reading: This is a critical review of the book, The In-Between Bookstore by Edward Underhill. This post may discuss key plot points, which may contain spoilers, so please read with that in mind.
Introduction
The In-Between Bookstore is the latest novel, released in January 2025, by Edward Underhill. The novel follows Darby, a trans man living in New York City, about to turn thirty, and having no idea what he’s doing with his life. The novel touches on themes of identity, finding community, and a little about lost love.
Summary
Darby is a 29 year old trans man living in New York City. He hails from a small town, Oak Falls, Illinois, and hasn’t been back home for many years. Calling it “home” might be somewhat of a misnomer because Darby certainly doesn’t believe Oak Falls to be home. And yet when he loses his job and his apartment rent goes up too high, he calls his mom, who reveals she’s moving and selling Darby’s childhood home. With that new knowledge and the trials he’s facing in the city, he decides to sell most of his belongings, pack up a rental car, and drive the ten or so hours to his mother’s house, much to the protest of his close friends, Olivia, Ian, and Joan. When he arrives in town, he runs into Michael, his ex-best friend from high school, and things don’t go well.
Discussion
Disclaimer: I decided to use a different format for this critical review because I found it difficult to organize my thoughts on what makes this story impactful and rich in all of the components that contribute to it. So rather than separate the components orderly as I did here with my critical review of Cemetery Boys, I’m going to brain dump a bit – but artfully.
In the beginning, it’s clear that Darby is a mess emotionally and he’s not sure what he’s doing with his life. He has degrees in Literature that he doesn’t use and doesn’t feel fulfilled in his work, which I think makes the blow of losing his job that much harder, and the desire to run from it that much more understandable.
When Darby makes his way back to Oak Falls, the first place he wants to go is the bookstore, the one constant in his life, at least in Oak Falls, where he worked at part-time over several years during high school. What is interesting about the bookstore is that, despite the magical realism that takes place there, it serves as a grounding point for Darby and his growth as a character. He returns to it over and over again throughout the novel, attempting to uncover the truth about what happened between him and his friend Michael in their senior year of high school. Darby becomes obsessed with his past with Michael, while trying to build a new relationship with him in the present, using the magic of the bookstore to revisit moments of his past and learn new things about himself in the process.
Darby states quite plainly that he has never felt himself or at home in Oak Falls, yet Michael appears to be at home in their home town, and lives freely and happily there. Michael, who is a teach living in his great grandmother’s house, has no problem fitting in. Page 153, he narrates, “…I didn’t get how Michael could just fit at that football game while I felt like a jumble of mismatched pieces, just like I did in high school.”
As a trans man, Darby felt like he spent his high school years hiding his true self. While visiting his younger self in the bookstore (through the magic of time travel, of course), he narrates on page 171, “The store is empty. Nobody else is here, and still—my younger self isn’t comfortable. I can’t even exist without anxiety in an empty bookstore.” I think this is the overall theme of the novel–Darby remembering how uncomfortable and out of place he felt in Oak Falls, which makes his sudden decision to leave New York due to setbacks in housing and career seem quite ridiculous.
Despite many years living as a man, Darby still struggles with his trans and queer identity in the sense that he doesn’t seem to believe that anyone outside of New York could be queer or understand his identity as such. He was shocked to discover that Michael is gay, and even more shocked when Michael invites Darby to a queer party at Michael’s house. He seems a bit judgmental of others, as well. This is illustrated on page 85, where he narrates, “John—this guy in cargo pants and a John Deere baseball hat—this guy is queer?” One thing to be noted is that throughout the novel, Darby describes people’s physical appearances often, and seems to be stuck on that outward appearance. As a trans man myself, I think this is a solid representation of how trans people are often self-conscious of how they present themselves. Darby is cognizant of the appearances of others because he’s cognizant of how he appears to everyone else. I wonder if he worries that his trans-ness is visible and obvious.
Near the end of the novel, Darby and Michael have a full reconciliation where both reveal their truths of what what happened between them all those years ago–a misunderstanding trope, of course, but isn’t that real life, as well? One of the important aspects of the novel is that at some point, Darby wants to change the past and prevent his falling out with Michael. He also wants to ease young Darby’s suffering, so he orders a book on trans history and gifts it to his younger self. When he leaves the bookstore for the final time, he narrates on page 201, “Maybe this was all just random—the universe being strange and unknowable, and I just wanted there to be a purpose to it because I’m a human and that’s what humans want. Maybe I was never going to be able to change anything for the better. Maybe I was never going to be able to change anything at all.”
Another important aspect of this novel is Darby realizing that he found his queer community in New York. The first person he ever came out to was Olivia, and it was through her that he found the strength to continue exploring his queer and trans identity, and to continue building his community of queer people. On page 210-211, Darby narrates, “Olivia’s face flashes into my mind. The way she looked at me expectantly, eagerly, when I came out to her in that random lounge at NYU. The way she was so eager to come out to me. The fierce way we hung on to each other that first semester. The way we hung on to Ian when we found him. The way all four of us still hang on, even in New York, where there are queer bars and drag shows and a giant LGBT center. Because sure, maybe it’s easier in a place where there are more of us and where we don’t feel quite so weird, but we are still making space. We are always making space for ourselves, and the only reason I ever learned how to do that—the only reason I was ever okay—was because I met Olivia. Because I met Ian and Joan. Because I realized I wasn’t alone.”
While I think Darby was disappointed that he was unable to find this in Oak Falls, despite learning later in life that Michael is gay. I wonder if he ever tried to find a queer community in Oak Falls or he just resigned himself to being alone in that. If he had realized Michael was gay, would that have changed anything for him? Would he have come out? Would he have wanted to stay in Oak Falls and go to college locally, like Michael? Would they have remained close or would they still have fought? And I believe that is the true message of the novel, if there is one–it doesn’t matter if things could have been different because the reality is that Michael and Darby fought, Darby moved to New York, and there he found his chosen family, and safety and truth in his identity. The purpose of meeting his younger self in the bookstore was never to find out what happened between himself and Michael, nor was it to change the past. I believe the purpose was that Darby embrace who he was then, converging into who he is now, and to realize that he doesn’t regret his choices. He made the decisions he made because they were right at the time, and those led him to being the person he is–the beautiful and complete person he is, which meaningful friendship in a city he loves.
The final quote (page 233) I’ll share from the novel which, I believe, perfectly captures all of the above is this: “…I feel like a wrung-out sponge. Like I’ve been running for days, or week, or, hell, maybe even years, and someone finally told me I could stop. Like I’ve been searching for something for decades only to find out it never existed in the first place. And at the same time, I feel free. Because if there’s nothing to run from and nothing to run to, then there’s just…me.”
Analysis
- Strengths:
- Because of the 1st person present-tense POV, the story is best told linearly, which the author does well. He uses flashbacks to add context to the main plot.
- The tension between Michael and Darby builds along with Darby’s visits to the bookstore. There is good pacing, which is marked by dates as the chapter names. While the story does happen over a short period of time, I think Underhill does a good job of slowing things down in each chapter and making sure it’s absorbable.
- Underhill does an excellent job of using physical descriptions and analogies that line up with the tension of the plot. For example, Darby describes a feeling of tension, like a rubber band squeezing his lungs, then says that it snaps and suddenly everything he was holding back rushes forward. He also describes his physical sensations of breathing too fast and chest too tight. That final release lines up with the tension with Michael, where the reader learns why they stopped being friends senior year.
- The author uses the magical realism of time travel as a representation for embracing our younger self and accepting who we were fully, so we can accept who we are now.
- Weaknesses:
- They don’t get together in the end! Some may view this as a strength, and to be honest, in a way it kind of is, but tropes are there for a reason and people like predictability. I was shocked that Underhill didn’t have them get together in the end, but – if Darby and Michael had gotten together, with either Darby staying in Oak Falls or Michael moving to New York, they wouldn’t be staying true to their characters. Michael loves Oak Falls, despite feeling like he has to hide his queerness a bit, and Darby needs the city where he can feel free to be himself. That’s who they are. So while they don’t get together (bummer), they do remain true to themselves. For me, it’s a weakness because I wanted the trope of them getting together, but I also acknowledge it’s kind of good they didn’t.
- There was probably room to slow the pace even more and expand on Darby’s journey through figuring out what he wants to do. He ultimately decides to go back to New York, but I feel like a week may have been too short for that type of decision. Perhaps he could have stayed longer.
- I would have liked to see more of Michael – maybe have his perspective a bit, too. This would have lengthened the novel (it almost felt too short) and given more depth and context to Darby’s character, as well.
Conclusion
You can’t change the past, but can embrace it and move forward.
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