Before you start reading: This is a critical review of the book, Honorable Discharge by Madeleine N. Cull. This post may discuss key plot points, which may contain spoilers, so please read with that in mind.
Introduction
Madeleine Cull’s book, Honorable Discharge, tells a touching story of love between two men living in a small, rural town. As with most stories involved queer relationships in small towns, there are themes of homophobia, romance, and finding oneself through self-acceptance and love.
Summary
Beau Harjo is like any other private in boot camp. He misses home, his family, and his girlfriend, but he’s proud of his military service and is looking forward to moving to Las Vegas. When his epilepsy leaves him with an honorable discharge and a broken arm, he moves back to Red, Colorado, to his family’s ranch. The one thing he’s looking forward to is seeing his girlfriend, who mysteriously won’t take his calls or answer his texts. Cue Sage Peyton, a young ranch hand who fills in for the work Beau can’t do while he heals. Beau and Sage initially don’t get along, but time proves that they have more in common than either of them thinks.
Core Themes
I. Identity
Beau’s identity centers around a few key facts:
- He has epilepsy, which holds him back and makes him feel weak
- He’s the product of an affair, which means he wasn’t planned or wanted by his father
- His father is forced to care for him after Beau’s mother dies
- He doesn’t look like his father, step-mom, or brothers, or most people in their community
- He’s a burden to others if he can’t be useful so he strives to always be useful
Sage’s identity is wrapped up in being loved and wanted by others. His parents are addicts and couldn’t take care of him, so he grew up with wealthy grandparents. However, when they catch him having sex with a man, they kick him out and this is how he ends up in Red, Colorado. He moved to be closer to his parents because he had no where else to go, but quickly realized he couldn’t be near them.
II. Shame
Both Beau and Sage seem to feel a lot of shame in the novel, though for different reasons. Beau has an ongoing struggle with feeling like an outcast and a burden, and he feels shame for things he didn’t do, such as being the product of an affair. The shame he feels makes him do things he wouldn’t do if he was a little more selfish. For Sage, the shame comes from being forced out of the only loving, stable home he’s had because he was too selfish and had sex with a man in his grandparents’ home. There seems to be some shame around his identity as a gay man, as well.
III. Conflict
There are several major conflicts in the novel:
- Beau is discharged from the military after having a seizure and breaking his arm
- His girlfriend broke up with him and he doesn’t understand why
- He is warring against himself, feeling miserable because his military career is over – in other words, he’s getting in his own way / a victim of his own circumstance
- His desire to hate Sage but ultimately being unable to do so
- Beau’s sexuality
- Beau’s family’s love of Sage and what Sage brings to their family
The first major conflict for Beau is being discharged from the military after having a seizure and breaking his arm. This conflict is huge for him because he had been planning his entire life around his military service. Initially, he had wanted to join at age 17 or 18, but couldn’t because of his epilepsy. After being cleared at age 24, he’s close to graduating from bootcamp but has another seizure, forcing him to be discharged. With the military service being a big part of Beau’s plans and helping to fill that identity gap of being a burden/useless, Beau suffered a major blow to his identity. Who was he without the military?
Another conflict, though not as majorly explored, is Ronna breaking up with Beau and his lack of memory around the entire situation. Beau believes Ronna broke things off without telling him, but the truth is that Beau didn’t remember because of a seizure. This is also another example of how epilepsy is impacting Beau’s life and the turmoil it causes.
In the beginning, it seems that Beau wants to hate Sage because he was filling in for all the things Beau couldn’t do. On page 30, Beau thinks, “Sage seemed to be everything [Beau’s] family didn’t know they needed, which made [Beau] feel guilty for being so mad about it.” With this narration, it seems that Beau loves his family on wants them to have the support they need to run the ranch, but there is anger behind those feelings, a duality of Beau feeling useless and hating Sage for it. Sage also fits in physically, with his blue eyes and blonde hair, a way in which Beau never could, even if he was like Sage in every other way.
Beau’s sexuality isn’t really discussed super explicitly, and Sage is the one to correctly guess that Beau is bisexual. Beau states at that time that Sage had better not ever tell anyone else about his being bisexual, because that is just another thing to make him different and feel out of place. In line with this, I think that Beau is almost waiting for the moment when something he says or does is too much and pushes his family over the edge, causing them to disown him. However, this never happens, even when Beau comes out to them before going after Sage.
Analysis
- Strengths:
- The author does an excellent job weaving Beau’s threads and tying it all together to form who he is. His actions are fairly consistently in line with who he is and his past
- There is a sexual scene that was perfectly executed – it was explicit, but not so explicit that it took the focus away from their budding romance
- There were some fantastic moments that made me feel like I was in the story. For example, on page 95, “Racing for the thrill. Racing for the stars…The rumble of dirt and grass under them…It was adrenaline disguised as serotonin. It was freedom.”
- Beau’s voice comes through the narrative beautifully. For example, on page 63, “He didn’t care. He’d been unwelcome plenty of times. This wasn’t any different.” / “Twenty years later, Beau was still the bastard child whose mother died and ruined his father’s life.” These really drive home that Beau feels lost and like he doesn’t belong.
- The descriptions of people, places, and events isn’t overly flowery, yet a clear picture is painted nonetheless. There’s a strong focus on character development, which really suits this novel.
- There’s a wonderful, slow build of tolerance between Beau and Sage, before the build of actual friendship and romance.
- The description of emotion feels so authentic, especially Beau’s. Example, on page 61, “…because anger was easier to handle than heartache.”
- Weaknesses:
- The friendship between Ronna, Beau’s ex, and Sage seems a bit unrealistic. Some of the dialogue between them shows a stronger connection than what would likely actually be there after only a month or two of knowing each other. For example, Ronna comments that Sage used to wear diamond stud earrings “…all the time”, which implies a lengthy friendship that isn’t actually there
- There are some things left unexplored, most notably a comment from Ronna to Sage, where she believes Beau’s family doesn’t like her because she’s black. This is never mentioned again and could have added more more depth to the story. However, the book wasn’t really about racism, despite mentions of Beau feeling out of place, so bringing another added complication would have likely drowned out the love story.
- While this story seems very clearly about Beau, seeing more of Sage would have been nice. Many novels have one half of a novel from one character’s POV and the second half other another POV. I think that could have worked here and probably added a nice balance between Beau’s and Sage’s stories and points of view.
- There were a few moments where things were said and not needed, such as on page 59, “His eyes closed toward the sky, then he sighed.” This feels a little clunky and could have been omitted or reworded to have better flow.
- An unexplored topic I wish I had seen some of is Beau’s mom. There was never a mention of how she died and I found myself wondering every time she was mentioned.
- Another unexplored topic is the deception between Sage and Ronna. She never finds out that Sage lied to her about Beau’s feelings, and was sleeping with him without her knowledge. I think it would have been interesting to see more of this dynamic.
Conclusion
Overall, Cull creates a rich narrative of the expectations Beau places on himself, and his internal struggles with identity. Beau’s fear of being too troublesome, which only holds him back from being true to himself, is ultimately worked out, and he finds love and safety and acceptance in Sage. This gives Beau the strength to be true to himself, despite potential consequences, so that he can go on to live a meaningful life.